21 Day Blogging Challenge

I have been too sad to blog

Today’s  blog post is unprepared, unplanned but from the heart. Allow me today to be vulnerable, unfiltered and real about what I am feeling even if I may not be (temporarily) my usual positive self.

I haven’t written a blog post in a while primarily because some events over the last several weeks have made writing difficult and to be perfectly honest, have made life difficult. Frankly the idea of writing has been farthest from my mind as I watched, these last few weeks, tragic events transpire.

Even writing this now seems silly. What could I possibly say that would matter ?

A few weeks ago, my father passed away. It was something we expected but something that no one can ever truly prepare for, something that left my heart empty and yet at the same time reminded me how blessed I was to have him as a father in the first place. Nothing I can write could ever truly explain how I feel about that.

..and then several others in my community passed away as well. This dark cloud of sadness overwhelmed our community as we said our goodbyes to fathers, sons, husbands and daughters and even a small child.

And so it happens. Life ends. It does.

…and there is little that we can do about it.

The posts I write all of a sudden, seem silly.. unimportant.

This is not meant to be a religious post but I do have great faith that those who passed are in a better place, that it is God’s will and I find solace knowing that.

…. but I must admit that have been overwhelmed with sadness, not knowing what to do next.

I thought about what I normal blog about , the success tips I write, the solo-preneur tips, the words I share on dreaming big , setting goals and doing what it takes … and for just a moment, they seemed shallow and meaningless compared to the knowing that a young widow would now spend her days alone and the mother who had buried her second child way to soon, way too young. It all just seemed so wrong, like the natural order of things had been so gravely disrupted.

… and then came a reminder completely unanticipated from an unexpected source, a young teenage girl who had just lost her father. When we should have been comforting her, her powerful words comforted us. She spoke of her father and his advice on living life to the fullest. She spoke of his advice to his children to dream big and that the world was hers for the taking. His advice and his words had obviously had an impact on this young girl who chose to share this with us during the most difficult time.

I was reminded of why I write and why I do EVERYTHING I do – my own 4 kids and what I want to teach them. I was reminded of the duty I had to use my God given gifts and talents and to teach my children the importance of doing the same. I was reminded of the power of words and how sharing my insights may just reach someone that needs to hear them.

I am sad … I can’t help it. Life and death in its entirety is a mystery , one that we cannot completely understand. What I do know, however is the here and now and that I need and want to continue in my faith, be the best possible me I can be, the best possible mother I can be and share what I can with my family …and the world.

 

 

Signature Tereza

 

21 thoughts on “I have been too sad to blog

  1. So sorry for your loss, Tereza. But thank you for your openness and honesty. I appreciated your emotion and was drawn in from the beginning. Just know that it’ll get easier over time and you have the ability to touch a lot of lives with your blog. Stay strong!

    1. Thanks Dr. Steve Sheiner. It wasn’t easy putting my emotions on the table like that for all to see but if it touches just one person and in the process helps me reach out to more people and touch their lives, then I am glad I did.

  2. Thank you Tereza for sharing your story. It’s been 10 years since my Mother passed away but sometimes it seems like yesterday. Although your father is not with you in the physical form his non-physical form will be with you forever.

  3. In the aftermath of death, most everything seems mundane and meaningless. And it is difficult to get started again — to get a direction — to get traction. We feel suspended, not knowing what to do. If you look for signs of the spiritual energy of those who have passed — perhaps a song they favored, the scent of a perfume or cologne they used, seeing something they treasured that you had shared with them. these are all signs of their presence with you. Look for them, treasure them, and you will eventually get your bearings again.

  4. Tereza, thanks for sharing even in your grief. My heart goes out to you. I know the feeling I lost my Dad it will be 10 years on March 17th. Then 10 months later My brother passed away. Getting back to the normal activities that you did prior to your loss will help. But it is so understandable that you have been sad and unable to blog. You have taken the first step. Putting your energy into your kids is good for you and for them. I look forward to your next post.

    1. Thank you Deirdre. Wow, my heart goes out to you as well. How incredibly difficult that must have been. I appreciate your comment. 🙂

  5. Wow Tereza… this is profoundly powerful. You said something, well MANY things, that hit home iwth me… but one thing in particular you said… “What could I possibly say that would matter ?” And man oh man do I “get” that. I don’t know how long you’ve been in Empower, or if you saw me speak on stage in Chicago, April 2013… but that was my first speaking engagement EVER and I said on stage, “I never believed I would ever have anything to say out of this mouth, that anyone would want to hear. . . I mean, who am I?!” Let me tell you that I totally resonate with your feelings of feeling about what you have been doing lately seems insignificant in the bigger picture of dealing with family and loss. . . but what you said at the end brings it all back home. DOING exactly what you are doing DOES matter! EVERYTHING you say. You said your 4 kids were your “Why” and wanting to teach them the way. . . YOUR VOICE has the POWER to influence and affect people that you have no idea!! And most definitely your children! So keep doing what you are doing! KNOW that it is not in vain! Your father would be PROUD of you, and I am sure he IS proud of you looking down and watching over how you are changing not only your life, but the lives of your children and every single person that your voice reaches!!! God bless you Tereza! Keep pushing, one day at a time! You are not alone! 🙂

    1. Thank you Laura for taking the time to write such a detailed and heartfelt message. I was not in Empower at that time of your first speaking engagement but know a little of your story and will take a look to see if I can find that recording somewhere! I sincerely appreciate the encouragement from you and everyone who has commented. Yes, deep down I think I know what I say matters but needed to find my voice again. I am back, pushing one day at a time and know (especially after all these powerful comments) that I am not alone. Thanks again Laura.

  6. Tereza, Thank you for sharing your story. People leave the physical plane but still remain with us in our mind and in our heart. Remember the good times and be grateful for the time you had. I still remember the passing of my mother. She had it hard coming up but she had a silent strength I never understood. I chose to think of the good times we shared. I think of her as the country girl who had a lot of kids but spurred me on make my mark before I leave. As bloggers we can tell the stories of our loved ones and their impact on our lives.Their memory lives on, in the internet.Your kids, and your kid’s kids will remember whatever you write about your dad.Stay well.

    1. Thank you Earl. I appreciate it and I appreciate you for sharing your story as well. Leaving a mark and a legacy is certainly something that has been on my mind. I do believe that as bloggers we have a great opportunity to have a positive impact on others as well.

  7. Tereza, so sorry for your loss, writing this post took true strength and courage. It would have been very difficult for you to get going again and you have. Your father would be very proud right now.

  8. Hi Tereza, I’m sorry for you loss. Sharing these words must have been hard and I appreciate the time you took in doing so. I wish you the best and I am inspired by your strength. Thank you!

  9. Yes I found it hard after sitting the last few hours with him as he passed. That still haunts me a bit. But I found comfort in seeing the internal optimism of children as well.

  10. Tereza I am so sorry for your loss. I too in October lost my dad as well. I was sad for many many weeks and still am. I don’t think we can ever get over it … but we can grow from it and use it for inspiration and to help others. Thanks for sharing from your heart and learning that this too will become part of your story. Love this post 🙂 ~ Mimi ~

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