Today’s blog post is unprepared, unplanned but from the heart. Allow me today to be vulnerable, unfiltered and real about what I am feeling even if I may not be (temporarily) my usual positive self.
I haven’t written a blog post in a while primarily because some events over the last several weeks have made writing difficult and to be perfectly honest, have made life difficult. Frankly the idea of writing has been farthest from my mind as I watched, these last few weeks, tragic events transpire.
Even writing this now seems silly. What could I possibly say that would matter ?
A few weeks ago, my father passed away. It was something we expected but something that no one can ever truly prepare for, something that left my heart empty and yet at the same time reminded me how blessed I was to have him as a father in the first place. Nothing I can write could ever truly explain how I feel about that.
..and then several others in my community passed away as well. This dark cloud of sadness overwhelmed our community as we said our goodbyes to fathers, sons, husbands and daughters and even a small child.
And so it happens. Life ends. It does.
…and there is little that we can do about it.
The posts I write all of a sudden, seem silly.. unimportant.
This is not meant to be a religious post but I do have great faith that those who passed are in a better place, that it is God’s will and I find solace knowing that.
…. but I must admit that have been overwhelmed with sadness, not knowing what to do next.
I thought about what I normal blog about , the success tips I write, the solo-preneur tips, the words I share on dreaming big , setting goals and doing what it takes … and for just a moment, they seemed shallow and meaningless compared to the knowing that a young widow would now spend her days alone and the mother who had buried her second child way to soon, way too young. It all just seemed so wrong, like the natural order of things had been so gravely disrupted.
… and then came a reminder completely unanticipated from an unexpected source, a young teenage girl who had just lost her father. When we should have been comforting her, her powerful words comforted us. She spoke of her father and his advice on living life to the fullest. She spoke of his advice to his children to dream big and that the world was hers for the taking. His advice and his words had obviously had an impact on this young girl who chose to share this with us during the most difficult time.
I was reminded of why I write and why I do EVERYTHING I do – my own 4 kids and what I want to teach them. I was reminded of the duty I had to use my God given gifts and talents and to teach my children the importance of doing the same. I was reminded of the power of words and how sharing my insights may just reach someone that needs to hear them.
I am sad … I can’t help it. Life and death in its entirety is a mystery , one that we cannot completely understand. What I do know, however is the here and now and that I need and want to continue in my faith, be the best possible me I can be, the best possible mother I can be and share what I can with my family …and the world.