“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt, You Learn by Living: Eleven Keys for a More Fulfilling Life
I had a discussion today with a colleague which inspired me to write this post. It’s an all too familiar topic that keeps coming up and can be paralyzing if we let it be. We have all been there at one time or another, unable to make the sale, confront a difficult client or negotiate a deal. Perhaps we second guess our decisions so much that it prevents us from making the decisions that can propel us forward. Bottom line is that what you are doing when you lack confidence to move forward is giving power to your fears.
Along those lines, I am a believer that confidence is a choice.
Eleanor Roosevelt also once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
My best tip for dealing with fear and confidence issues is to face that which you fear. If it is public speaking, get in front of an audience. If it’s cold calling, pick up the phone. If it is an overbearing boss, speak up. When we do that which we fear, it gets easier until we don’t fear it any more. We gain confidence. None of us were born on stage but we all have it in us to be on stage, if that’s what we want.
And when it is really tough to take the first step and try…
Do some soul searching, get some help, deal with the past, get a coach, or talk to a friend. Just don’t ignore it because you will get stuck (trust me, I’ve been there) and stuck will keep you right where you are spinning your wheels.
To your success,